Liberté Fraternité Egalité Révolution Plaisir

ZORTHIAN & YALE

Exchanging Pocket Rockets and Agavero at Mory's .. PHOTO: Max

Saturday, we slept even later, and just couldn’t make it through the crowds at the porn panel with “Pirates” Star Jesse Jane. We did manage to get ourselves over to Mory’s to meet Will Tauxe ’04, another one of our interns from the Y Annex, our Yale summer internship program who happened to be in town, and his freshman friend Jen Gold ‘09.

Darryl (whom we met in '04) Accepts Our Gift of Absente Absinthe for Mory's .. PHOTO: Max

Since Mory’s had given us such a good time, we gave Mory’s a bottle of Absente Absinthe to add to their bar. Wonder if they’ll be pouring some into their Green Cup… Speaking of cups, in one of Mory’s many cozy backrooms, we found a Saybrook group singing and slurping Gold Cups.

Saybrook's Drinking Society and me at Mory's .. PHOTO: Max

Next stop happened to be next door: Toad’s Place. Toad’s Place is not as old and distinguished as Mory’s, but it has developed a strong relationship with Yalies. This was one of my old haunts when I was a student. I even performed there a few times as a member of New England Commedia, once as an opening act for George Thorogood and the Destroyers back when they were the Delaware Destroyers.

Toad’s is much bigger now, having gobbled up a few neighboring units like a, well, like a toad swallows flies. We were there for the Jesse Jane Party, but Jesse hadn’t arrived yet, so somehow we wound upstairs by the Toad in a private party for members of the Yale Men’s Tennis Team. "No Females Allowed" was the rule, much to the ladies' feminist chagrin, probably because they were playing the XXX-rated “Pirates” on a big screen over the bar. But when Max and I wandered up to their testosterone-soaked sacred space, the team welcomed us in with big smiles and crippling handshakes (oh, that tennis grip!). Guess I was too old to be considered female. Or maybe it was because several of them had been to my lecture and wanted to talk to me. One by one, they sidled up, backslapped Max, then, in the most gentlemanly fashion, asked me some kind of question about sex. From “Where exactly is the G-Spot?” to “Do you think it’s a good idea for me to have a threesome with my girlfriend and her roommate if I plan to be Secretary of State?” All this while watching the delectable Ms. Jane and Carmen Luvana do the hoka-hoka in Halloween-style pirate garb on the screen above the bar. Carmen had been on my show last summer. I’ll never forget how she told Axel (the G-Man) Braun, “The only thing I don’t like inside me is fingers” as his notorious Lloyds-of-London-insured digits approached her.

With a Campus Cop and with Will of the Yale Men's Tennis Team at Toad's
PHOTOS: Max

I tried to tell a few of the guys this story, but they didn't seem to *get it.* Maybe, being tennis players, they’re sensitive about their own fingers. Besides, Toad’s isn’t really for talking; Toad’s is for dancing. You know, that vertical expression of a horizontal position. SWAY with me…And they were good dancers, these tennis boys; they sure knew how to SWAY with Me. Good strong arms, light on their feet. Yes indeed… like a lazy ocean hugs the shore…hold me close, SWAY me more. I was mid-SWAY with a hot one, when bulbs started flashing and voices shrieking: Jesse Jane was here! I turned to see the little blonde Pirate Girl with the enormous boobies rushing towards me, arms open, boobs bobbing. Before I could say “Shiver me timbers!” we were embracing like old friends though we’ve never met. We kissed, caressed, giggled and murmured endearments. Then in a flash, she was gone. At this point, the mood changed. Formerly gentlemanly-to-a-fault, the guys started throwing drinks at each other. Low-level but unseemly scuffling ensued. A voice with a townie accent bellowed “Somebody stole the Toad!” (but where would the thief put a four-foot-high green plaster frog?), and everybody cleared out.

And that was fine, that was enough. We danced and SWAYed down the cold, windy sidewalk, to our hotel, through another SWAYing round of sex and then left Yale and another Sex Week at Yale: Further Adventures in Higher Sex Education. Looking forward to SWAYing some more in ’08. I hope that by then, our leaders will see the wisdom of sending Pocket Rockets to the Middle East instead of Cruise Missiles, but I'm not holding my breath. I just keep on SWAYin'...

I can hear the sounds of violins
Long before it begins
Make me thrill as only you know how
Sway me smooth, sway me now
You know how
SWAY me smooth, SWAY me now

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SWAY Bloggamy

MAY 27: YALE'S WHIM 'N RHYTHM
@ Dr. Suzy's Speakeasy

BONOBO WAY T-SHIRTS